The Funky Apple | A New York City Blog

When some guy got on the 7 train last week and started telling riders to turn from their evil ways, I tuned him out as I do with any other crazed subway preacher, but I eventually tuned back in because he kept saying the word “Chinese” and being that my family’s from Hong Kong, I thought I’d tell the racist jerk to take his hatred someplace else and shove it.

He’s no doubt a little loopy, but I was horribly entertained for the remainder of my ride to Times Square. I jotted down some of his ramblings. Apparently he thinks he’s some kind of prophet…He said he went to the White House three times to talk to Obama and the President asked him if he was on drugs or meds (THAT part I can believe). He said he told Obama, “Listen, if you hadn’t made an oath with my God the Jehovah, I wouldn’t be here.” He kept going on and on about the U.S. borrowing a lot of money from the Emperor of China and secret societies. WTF? ONLY IN NEW YORK do people act this crazy…in public.

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“China owns your butt, each and every one of you in this car today.”

“If you was to pick up a rock off the ground, it wouldn’t say Made In America, it would say Made In China.”

“Now the Russians, the Chinese, the North Koreans, are all coming for us!”

It’s a big city. We’re always in a rush, we’re always busy, and (unless you’re still in college) we don’t often have a lot of time to meet other people. And even when you do have the free time, do you really want to date that guy or girl that threw up on you in the bar?

Because of this, online dating is a hit around New York, as sites like Okcupid, Match.com, and PlentyofFish have popped up to digitalize our love lives. Read the rest of this entry »

If there is any place where you are likely to utter “Only in New York,” it is the subway.  Something about the MTA seems to bring out the crazy in people (or, at the very least, forces you to be in a small space with said crazy).

Just today, StopNReflect saw a rat on the subway platform eating trash, which, unfortunately, is not that uncommon of a sight.  But then a man walked over to the rat and stomped on it!  This was followed by a shocked stampede of grossed out passengers (including StopNReflect) to the other end of the platform.

Almost everyone in this city has a crazy subway story (or five).  So send yours in to sarah@thefunkyapple.com, and tell your friends to send their in too!

I’ve found that birds of a tacky feather tend to flock together.  And holidays are no exception.  I know St. Patrick’s Day is all about being wild and crazy, but that does not have to entail looking like a hot ass colorblind mess.  Or wearing tote bags with pink accents.  Or slippers.

ESPECIALLY slippers.

Kelis is one of those stars that you may fluctuate between loving and shaking your head at, but no matter how you are feeling about her at this very moment, the chance to see her in concert for just $10 is too good to pass up.

Kelis (along with Maluca and mystery “guests”) will be performing at Santos Party House on 96 Lafayette St.  She’ll likely be testing out songs from her upcoming album, so get your tickets here to be the first to hear em… and of course, to dance to “Milkshake.”

Nopes, I’m not making this up. On Thursday, Matsuri (369 West 16th Street- Google Map) will offer a very phallic menu at rather affordable prices. The menu will be offered from 5:30pm-11pm, so uhm, if you’re into eating things shaped like…y’know…knock yourselves out.

[Pulsejfk]

This shirt is not hiding any surprises, and is exactly what it looks like:  A green cotton t shirt with holes in it – a tad beyond the mere “deconstructed” aesthetic lol.   That being said – How much would you pay for it?  Take a guess before clicking  to find out after the jump.

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