The Funky Apple | A New York City Blog

This makes me triply-sad.

Remember how we told you that the Barnes and Noble on 66th and Broadway was closing at the end of January? Well, it’s going to be replaced, but not by  a Borders.

No, instead of a book store, Century 21 will be opening an uptown store in the location, something that makes the buidling’s owner, Millenium Partners, very happy:

“We have been searching for a tenant who has the ability to drive a large volume of shoppers to the area. We believe that having Century 21 as an anchor in Lincoln Square will help drive a level of pedestrian traffic that our other retail tenants will benefit from.”

Source: Gothamist

This makes me super sad.

According to the City Room, the big Barnes and Noble on 66th street and Broadway on the Upper West Side will shutter its doors at the end of January.

The store is being shut due to high rents (no duh, it’s the middle of Manhattan.) The chain has been facing tough times recently, as it closed stores in Astor Place and Chelsea during the last three years.

Barnes and Noble put itself up for sale on August 3rd. Guess the Kindles and iPads of the world are causing bigger problems than we though.

Who said the web was good for nothing but chatroulette and foursquare?

NYC’s Public Advocate, Bill de Blasio, is launching a new website that aims to publicly shame all of the city’s worst slumlords.

The site, which will be updated regularly, lets surfers type in an address and see all of the slum lords around them. They can also nominate landlords for consideration.

So if you live in a building that has more cockroaches than people, or if you can’t walk up the stairs without tripping over feces, crack-heads, or both, then hit up the link and let Bill know you feel. The site is set to go live today.

Source: NY Daily News

During my sophomore year in college, I took an art class. While I can’t say I took too much away from that class, I will always remember the time that the professor said that skyscrapers were nothing more than giant penises in the sky, erec..erm..built to massage the developer’s ego.

While I thought he was crazy at the time, it most certainly applies to the battle that’s going on between the Empire State Building and Vornado Realty Trust.

You see, despite whatever you’ve heard in the news, the battle amounts to nothing more than a giant cock fight. Read the rest of this entry »

Do you like The Statue of Liberty? Do you like expensive things? Do you just like big noses (and you can not lie, you other bothers can’t deny)? Well, if you like any of those, you’re in luck, because on September 24th, Lady Liberty’s nose is up for auction.

Yep, that’s right. Her friggin nose.

You’ll be bidding on a two-foot chunk of her nose, crafted as part of a 1980′s renovation. As an auction rep described it: “It’s the tip of the nose with the area around the nostrils. It doesn’t sound like it would be, but it’s fairly attractive looking.”

Well alrightie then, sign me up!

If nose fetishes aren’t your thing, the auction will also have other cool items, such as the last home run hit in the old Yankee Stadium (hit by one Jose Molina, fyi). The auction will be held at the Park Avenue Armory. Just don’t complain if Lady Liberty’s nose has giant boogers. [NY Post via Neighborhoodr]

Sure, we all hate the MTA in our own little ways. They raise fares, cut service, and generally make life not so much fun.

However, the next time you consider cutting open a booth agent with a metrocard, consider the alternative. Consider driving to work every day. Consider driving to work on the highway. Now consider traffic. Now stretch that traffic out for 10 days and you’ll begin to imagine what people in Beijing are feeling right now.

Yup, due to massive construction on the region’s National Expressway 110, motorists are in the middle of a massive traffic jam. One that is backed up for 62 miles and has lasted 1o days.

Now, you’re probably saying to yourself: “that’s stupid, just leave.” But before you say that, ask yourself: how? It’s a traffic jam. Car in front of you, car behind you, car on the left, car on the right. You are boxed in, and there’s no getting out.

The stranded drivers are killing time by playing cards, and locals are making money by selling instant noodles to motorists, albeit at prices four-times as high.

No one expects things to get better until construction wraps up on September 13th.

Suddenly you want to kiss Jay Walder, huh?

So hey, summer’s almost over, and that means it’s time for the last stand: the final summer getaway before the leaves turn brown and school kids hog the busses and subways.

So with that said, this blogger is getting out of town for the remainder of the week. Unfortunately, that means things will be slow around here until next Tuesday.

But hey, with seven months of daily posting in the bank, now might be a good time to check out some of our greatest hits.

See ya Tuesday everyone!