The Funky Apple | A New York City Blog

This is literally one of THE worst outfits I have ever seen – and coming from me, that is saying a lot.  Every piece of this is awful in and of itself.  Especially the pants.  Especially since there were additional belly rolls hanging out above the thinly contained paunch.

But together…  With their powers combined, these clothes are “Captain Why God Why Would Anyone EVER Wear This?!”

Is that really supposed to be Chanel?   It looks like a Venn Diagram of two Pacmans (Pacmen?) running away from each other.

I’m sorry, but if you step in front of me wearing this on a dark night, you are just gonna have to excuse me for punching your backpack dead in its creepy eye.

I feel like there’s a lesson to be learned here – if you tattoo something silly like a deer head on you, you are more likely to appear like you have little t-rex arms… or something…

Twofer Tuesday: Because birds of a tacky feather tend to flock together.

I’m not mad that that’s a man.  I’m mad at that hair.  Burgundy?  With 3 inch blonde tips?  Hair should never look like three badly dyed fox tails.  His wig got split, in a very literal sense.

And ol girl on the left?  Snooki hair clips need to stop.  Full stop.

Guest Caption from A: “Disco Delight Swirl – the worst flavor at Baskin Robbins”

How would you caption this delightful outfit?  Leave yours in the comments!

Let me count the ways:

1) That atrocious flower print from a repurposed mumu you probably spent $100+ on at Urban;

2) Those boots.  No explanation needed;

3) Your complete and utter disregard for any sense of complimentary colors;

and last, but certainly not least:

4) The thigh high socks.  (Yes, those grey things are not just unfortunate elephant grey leggings with gym sock texture – they are incredibly unfortunate grey gym sock thigh highs… made even more disgusting by the fact that they were providing her awkward boyfriend easy access to finger her in the middle of the Hudson Hotel bar.  No lie.)  *gag*